KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

George Carlin Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by George Carlin

Showing 41-50 of 53 Quotes by George Carlin

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

~George Carlin

Topics: Floor Tequila Three Two

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

~George Carlin

Topics: About Fewer Good Know Part Texans Texas Those You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Always do whatever's next.

~George Carlin

Topics: Always Next Whatever

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

~George Carlin

Topics: About Bible Dawned Exam Final Get How Lot Me More Older People Read Seem Then Thinking Whole

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

~George Carlin

Topics: Candle Edison Electric Gas Had He Lamp Late Light Made More Much Night Seem Sure Thomas Urgent Work Worked

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

~George Carlin

Topics: Been Dust Established Example Fact Futility Good Good Example Next Put Right Soon Things Trying You Your

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

~George Carlin

Topics: Always Comic First Left Person Speaks Strips

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


The status quo sucks.

~George Carlin

Topics: Quo Status Status Quo Sucks

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

~George Carlin

Topics: Began Disease Got Interesting Lost Memories Old Old People Other People Recover Slowly Think Where Would I Think

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

~George Carlin

Topics: About Break Breaking Concerned Detect Harder Hell Loose Much Part Will

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 12th, 1937

Died: June 22nd, 2008

Links

Find George Carlin on Amazon

Related Authors

Fatty Arbuckle
Jim Carrey
Andrew Dice Clay
Chris Cubas
Vir Das
Chris Rock
Pauly Shore
Red Skelton
Ben Stiller
Theo Von

Popular Authors

Samuel Adams Marcus Garvey Robert Kennedy Florence Nightingale Barack Obama Emma Stone J. R. R. Tolkien E. E. Cummings

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1882 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1775 - Walter Savage Landor

1781 - Adelbert Von Chamisso

1846 - F. H. Bradley

1866 - Gelett Burgess

1909 - Saul Alinsky

1912 - Francis Schaeffer

1912 - Barbara Tuchman

1912 - Barbara W. Tuchman

1919 - Fred Korematsu

Birthdays on January 30th
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Birthday Dating Imagination Love Men Parenting Trust Wedding