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Steven Wright Quotes


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Quotes by Steven Wright

Showing 51-60 of 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

~Steven Wright

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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

~Steven Wright

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I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

~Steven Wright

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I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.

~Steven Wright

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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

~Steven Wright

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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

~Steven Wright

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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

~Steven Wright

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Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

~Steven Wright

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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.

~Steven Wright

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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

~Steven Wright

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 6th, 1955

Links

Find Steven Wright on Amazon

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