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Steven Wright Quotes


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Quotes by Steven Wright

Showing 131-140 of 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

I invented the cordless extension cord.

~Steven Wright

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Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

~Steven Wright

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I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

~Steven Wright

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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

~Steven Wright

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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

~Steven Wright

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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

~Steven Wright

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I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

~Steven Wright

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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it; it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.

~Steven Wright

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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

~Steven Wright

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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination; I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.

~Steven Wright

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 6th, 1955

Links

Find Steven Wright on Amazon

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