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Rodney Dangerfield Quotes


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Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Showing 21-30 of 56 Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

~Rodney Dangerfield

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I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

~Rodney Dangerfield

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: November 22nd, 1921

Died: October 5th, 2004

Links

Find Rodney Dangerfield on Amazon

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