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Mitch Hedberg Quotes


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Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Showing 51-59 of 59 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

~Mitch Hedberg

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Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

~Mitch Hedberg

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I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

~Mitch Hedberg

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If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.

~Mitch Hedberg

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It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then?

~Mitch Hedberg

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I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.

~Mitch Hedberg

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People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.

~Mitch Hedberg

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Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.

~Mitch Hedberg

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I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.

~Mitch Hedberg

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: February 24th, 1968

Died: March 30th, 2005

Links

Find Mitch Hedberg on Amazon

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