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George Carlin Quotes


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Quotes by George Carlin

Showing 21-30 of 53 Quotes by George Carlin

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

~George Carlin

Topics: Crime Fight Fighters Fire Freedom Mention Never Part Us Well

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

~George Carlin

Topics: Care Desperate People Say Think Who

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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

~George Carlin

Topics: Concealing Language Large Tool Truth

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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

~George Carlin

Topics: Alone Little Low Our Rather Say Settled Species Then True Universe Very

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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

~George Carlin

Topics: Away Better Building Doctor Felt He Located New Noticed Professional Recently Right Right Away Something

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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

~George Carlin

Topics: Another Audience Become Commonplace Far Kick Members Need Punch Standing Too Where

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What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

~George Carlin

Topics: Before Does Get Mean You

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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

~George Carlin

Topics: Amount Caused Death Long Long Period Over Period Small Time

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Think off-center.

~George Carlin

Topics: Think

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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

~George Carlin

Topics: Ask Dream Go Never People See Some Some People Things Time Were Why Why Not Work

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 12th, 1937

Died: June 22nd, 2008

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Find George Carlin on Amazon

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