KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Paula Poundstone Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Paula Poundstone

Showing 1-10 of 35 Quotes by Paula Poundstone

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded.

~Paula Poundstone

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 29th, 1959

Links

Find Paula Poundstone on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Marcus Aurelius Anita Hill Jiddu Krishnamurti Martin Luther Joel Osteen Dolly Parton Elvis Presley George Bernard Shaw

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1694 - Voltaire

1768 - Friedrich Schleiermacher

1787 - Bryan Procter

1863 - Arthur Quiller-Couch

1870 - Alexander Berkman

1886 - Harold Nicolson

1889 - Hugh Kingsmill

1898 - Rene Magritte

1904 - Coleman Hawkins

1907 - Jim Bishop

Birthdays on November 21st
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Art Courage Easter Friendship Learning Morning Romantic Teen