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W. C. Fields Quotes


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Quotes by W. C. Fields

Showing 31-40 of 64 Quotes by W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.

~W. C. Fields

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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

~W. C. Fields

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The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

~W. C. Fields

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You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

~W. C. Fields

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I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

~W. C. Fields

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I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

~W. C. Fields

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There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

~W. C. Fields

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A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

~W. C. Fields

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Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

~W. C. Fields

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Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

~W. C. Fields

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: January 29th, 1880

Died: December 25th, 1946

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