KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Steven Wright Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Steven Wright

Showing 41-50 of 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


If God dropped acid, would he see people?

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


How young can you die of old age?

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

~Steven Wright

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 6th, 1955

Links

Find Steven Wright on Amazon

Related Authors

Cristela Alonzo
George Burns
Chevy Chase
Gilbert Gottfried
Chris Lilley
Chris Rock
Evan Sayet
Ron White
Katt Williams
Al Yankovic

Popular Authors

Jeff Bezos W. E. B. Du Bois Pope Francis Khalil Gibran St. Jerome Abraham Lincoln Marilyn Manson Sofia Vergara

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1759 - William Pitt

1779 - Thomas Moore

1807 - Louis Agassiz

1887 - Jim Thorpe

1896 - Warren Giles

1908 - Ian Fleming

1911 - Thora Hird

1912 - Patrick White

1916 - Walker Percy

1916 - C. Wright Mills

Birthdays on May 28th
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Age Easter Equality Humor Intelligence Money Moving On Teacher