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Steven Wright Quotes


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Quotes by Steven Wright

Showing 41-50 of 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

~Steven Wright

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If God dropped acid, would he see people?

~Steven Wright

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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.

~Steven Wright

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My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'

~Steven Wright

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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

~Steven Wright

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How young can you die of old age?

~Steven Wright

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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.

~Steven Wright

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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

~Steven Wright

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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.

~Steven Wright

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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

~Steven Wright

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 6th, 1955

Links

Find Steven Wright on Amazon

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