KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Showing 1-10 of 88 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There's entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.

~Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: April 29th, 1954

Links

Find Jerry Seinfeld on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Douglas Adams Saint Augustine Cardi B Joseph Campbell John Keats Gloria Steinem Sofia Vergara Kurt Vonnegut

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1694 - Voltaire

1768 - Friedrich Schleiermacher

1787 - Bryan Procter

1863 - Arthur Quiller-Couch

1870 - Alexander Berkman

1886 - Harold Nicolson

1889 - Hugh Kingsmill

1898 - Rene Magritte

1904 - Coleman Hawkins

1907 - Jim Bishop

Birthdays on November 21st
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Dad Equality Great Music Patriotism Success Thanksgiving Veterans Day