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Lewis Black Quotes


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Quotes by Lewis Black

Showing 1-10 of 122 Quotes by Lewis Black

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

~Lewis Black

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The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over.

~Lewis Black

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When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.

~Lewis Black

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You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

~Lewis Black

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A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'

~Lewis Black

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When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

~Lewis Black

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You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal.

~Lewis Black

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It took forever for me to get work because I was a political comic, and now it's become good business, and God knows how long that'll last. You have to do it night after night after night to kind of make it. I still find myself on 'Piers Morgan' or on some show and I think, 'I hope this is funny.'

~Lewis Black

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If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.

~Lewis Black

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Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.

~Lewis Black

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: August 30th, 1948

Links

Find Lewis Black on Amazon

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