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Steven Wright Quotes


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Quotes by Steven Wright

Showing 171-180 of 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

~Steven Wright

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I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.

~Steven Wright

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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

~Steven Wright

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The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.

~Steven Wright

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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

~Steven Wright

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Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

~Steven Wright

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There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.

~Steven Wright

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It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.

~Steven Wright

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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time.

~Steven Wright

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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

~Steven Wright

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 6th, 1955

Links

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