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Stephen Colbert Quotes


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Quotes by Stephen Colbert

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Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

~Stephen Colbert

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Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

~Stephen Colbert

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Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the furthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness: a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say 'no.' But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow.

~Stephen Colbert

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Reality has a well-known liberal bias.

~Stephen Colbert

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I like to do things that are publicly embarrassing, to feel the embarrassment touch me and sink into me and then be gone. I like getting on elevators and singing too loudly in that small space. The feeling you feel is almost like a vapor. The discomfort and the wishing that it would end that comes around you.

~Stephen Colbert

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I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.

~Stephen Colbert

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I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

~Stephen Colbert

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It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.

~Stephen Colbert

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I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids. Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche and then applies an antibiotic cream. You gotta keep it away from your eyes.

~Stephen Colbert

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In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an expert in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter.

~Stephen Colbert

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 13th, 1964

Links

Find Stephen Colbert on Amazon

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