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Rita Rudner Quotes


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Quotes by Rita Rudner

Showing 41-50 of 71 Quotes by Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

~Rita Rudner

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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

~Rita Rudner

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My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

~Rita Rudner

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I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

~Rita Rudner

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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

~Rita Rudner

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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

~Rita Rudner

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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.

~Rita Rudner

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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.

~Rita Rudner

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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.

~Rita Rudner

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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.

~Rita Rudner

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: September 17th, 1955

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Find Rita Rudner on Amazon

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