KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Rita Rudner Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Rita Rudner

Showing 11-20 of 71 Quotes by Rita Rudner

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

~Rita Rudner

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: September 17th, 1955

Links

Find Rita Rudner on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Paulo Coelho Dolores Huerta James Joyce Dalai Lama John Mulaney Franklin D. Roosevelt Ben Shapiro Henny Youngman

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1809 - Felix Mendelssohn

1811 - Horace Greeley

1816 - Frederick William Robertson

1821 - Elizabeth Blackwell

1826 - Walter Bagehot

1874 - Gertrude Stein

1887 - Georg Trakl

1890 - Larry Macphail

1894 - Norman Rockwell

1898 - Alvar Aalto

Birthdays on February 3rd
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Alone Beauty Design Easter Fitness Humor Thanksgiving Veterans Day