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Rita Rudner Quotes


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Quotes by Rita Rudner

Showing 11-20 of 71 Quotes by Rita Rudner

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.

~Rita Rudner

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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

~Rita Rudner

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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.

~Rita Rudner

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I just love dogs, and there really is no better companion than an animal.

~Rita Rudner

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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!

~Rita Rudner

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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?

~Rita Rudner

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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

~Rita Rudner

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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

~Rita Rudner

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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

~Rita Rudner

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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

~Rita Rudner

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: September 17th, 1955

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Find Rita Rudner on Amazon

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