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Paula Poundstone Quotes


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Quotes by Paula Poundstone

Showing 1-10 of 35 Quotes by Paula Poundstone

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.

~Paula Poundstone

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President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.

~Paula Poundstone

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I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

~Paula Poundstone

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Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

~Paula Poundstone

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I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that.

~Paula Poundstone

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I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

~Paula Poundstone

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The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

~Paula Poundstone

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My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

~Paula Poundstone

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I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

~Paula Poundstone

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I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded.

~Paula Poundstone

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 29th, 1959

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Find Paula Poundstone on Amazon

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