KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Mitch Hedberg Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Showing 21-30 of 59 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

~Mitch Hedberg

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: February 24th, 1968

Died: March 30th, 2005

Links

Find Mitch Hedberg on Amazon

Related Authors

John Belushi
Dave Chappelle
Whitney Cummings
Brian Dunkleman
Ana Gasteyer
Jay Leno
Loni Love
Hayes Macarthur
Rosie O'Donnell
Julia Sweeney

Popular Authors

David Bowie Kevin Gates Ernest Hemingway Jack Ma Michel De Montaigne Prince Frank Sinatra Sofia Vergara

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1938 - Kofi Annan

1947 - Robert Kiyosaki

1732 - David Rittenhouse

1859 - Edmund Husserl

1869 - Harvey Cushing

1888 - Dennis Chavez

1892 - Mary Pickford

1896 - E. Y. Harburg

1903 - Ilka Chase

1911 - Emil Cioran

Birthdays on April 8th
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Chance Diet Leadership Men Mother's Day Relationship Thanksgiving Veterans Day