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Milton Berle Quotes


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Quotes by Milton Berle

Showing 11-20 of 25 Quotes by Milton Berle

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

~Milton Berle

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I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

~Milton Berle

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I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

~Milton Berle

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The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

~Milton Berle

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Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places.

~Milton Berle

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There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

~Milton Berle

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They've finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

~Milton Berle

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Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

~Milton Berle

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It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now.

~Milton Berle

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I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it.

~Milton Berle

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: July 12th, 1908

Died: March 27th, 2002

Links

Find Milton Berle on Amazon

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