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Lewis Black Quotes


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Quotes by Lewis Black

Showing 41-50 of 122 Quotes by Lewis Black

Usually I'm too tired to apologize.

~Lewis Black

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My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.

~Lewis Black

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I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

~Lewis Black

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When you're fund-raising for schools, then something's wrong. We seem to have lost some sort of sense of what the common good is, and if you don't have a sense of what the common good is, then at least give to what you think your specific goods are.

~Lewis Black

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Everybody's always asking me about my blood pressure. They did an interview once where they hooked me up to a blood pressure machine and they'd rile me. I'd yell and scream, and then it would just go back to normal in a few minutes. Everything else is probably rotting, but the blood pressure is spectacular.

~Lewis Black

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I've got stress like anybody else, and it builds up during the day. Like, I'll be trying to do something on the computer, and I'll get stuck, so I go to the help section. And it just enrages me, because why even call it a help section at all? There's nothing in any way 'helpful' about it.

~Lewis Black

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My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines. My mother was a substitute teacher. Together, they worked really only until they were sixty.

~Lewis Black

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Everybody's got cable.

~Lewis Black

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I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.

~Lewis Black

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I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.

~Lewis Black

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: August 30th, 1948

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