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Lewis Black Quotes


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Quotes by Lewis Black

Showing 21-30 of 122 Quotes by Lewis Black

I would like to play Pebble Beach at some point. I keep waiting for them to call and ask me to that little pro-am thing, but I'm not big enough.

~Lewis Black

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Let me be serious: divorce is a sacred institution between a man and a woman who hate each other. God wanted Adam to pay alimony to Eve, not Steve.

~Lewis Black

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One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.

~Lewis Black

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Self-love is a big part of golf.

~Lewis Black

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And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.

~Lewis Black

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In Vegas, you have an audience you can't find anywhere else. It's from all over the country. You play Seattle, everyone's from Seattle. But in Vegas, you have six from Seattle, a bunch from L.A., some local Las Vegans and maybe a farmer from Iowa. In Vegas, you learn the ins and outs of holding a room because of that great spectrum of folks.

~Lewis Black

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All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

~Lewis Black

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I love anything that gets me outside of my own head.

~Lewis Black

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Do you know what 'meteorologist' means in English? It means liar.

~Lewis Black

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One of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of things, so if you're in an interview and you really want to tell the person off, don't do it.

~Lewis Black

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: August 30th, 1948

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