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Les Dawson Quotes


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Quotes by Les Dawson

Showing 21-30 of 40 Quotes by Les Dawson

The mother-in-law had an accident at work. A hot rivet dropped down her drawers and she fell off the oil rig.

~Les Dawson

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My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

~Les Dawson

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My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

~Les Dawson

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Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

~Les Dawson

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I'd like to thank the BBC for allowing me to work here. And I'd like to thank the wife and kids for making it necessary.

~Les Dawson

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I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

~Les Dawson

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I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.'

~Les Dawson

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I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.

~Les Dawson

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Take my wife... please. I'm not saying she's ugly, but when she went to see a horror film, the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

~Les Dawson

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My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.

~Les Dawson

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Biography

Nationality: English

Type: Comedian

Born: February 2nd, 1933

Died: June 10th, 1993

Links

Find Les Dawson on Amazon

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