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Les Dawson Quotes


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Quotes by Les Dawson

Showing 11-20 of 40 Quotes by Les Dawson

The wife's run off with the bloke next door. I do miss him.

~Les Dawson

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In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.

~Les Dawson

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I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.

~Les Dawson

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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

~Les Dawson

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I need to give affection and love, because without that, I wither. I need to give that love to someone. Without that, I'm rudderless.

~Les Dawson

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My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind.

~Les Dawson

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I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

~Les Dawson

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How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

~Les Dawson

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My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

~Les Dawson

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I'm the most unromantic lump of Northern suet. Yes, a woman did accost me once in South Shields, but she had a face like Red Rum.

~Les Dawson

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Biography

Nationality: English

Type: Comedian

Born: February 2nd, 1933

Died: June 10th, 1993

Links

Find Les Dawson on Amazon

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