KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Joe Mande Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Joe Mande

Showing 1-7 of 7 Quotes by Joe Mande

I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a lot of dog jokes. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


On stage and in person, I think I am nice, thoughtful, and empathetic. But for some reason when I'm online, I become super aggressive and unhinged. I should probably get off of Twitter and see a therapist.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I grew up watching Letterman, 'Seinfeld,' 'SNL,' and Monty Python movies. But nothing made me want to get into comedy more than when 'Mr. Show' started airing.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


My first time performing was in the black box theater of my high school's basement as a member of 'Clownaz,' the school's improv team. We charged money for tickets, saying the proceeds went to our school's recycling program. Then, immediately after the show, we divided up all the money and kept it.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I'm a big foodie! I eat, like, three times a day... but most of all, I'm a breathie. Breathing air? That's the best thing in the world! I couldn't go two minutes without breathing.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Whatever comedian says he doesn't read comments, I never believe him, because we all have the same pathological problem to see what people think of us, and it sucks, because you try not to take it personally, and people are monsters and idiots.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I don't even know if people even care what a 27-year-old Jewish kid thinks about politics.

~Joe Mande

Topics: None

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: March 16th, 1983

Links

Find Joe Mande on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Agatha Christie Epictetus Carl Jung Immanuel Kant Abraham Maslow Margaret Mead Gordon Ramsay Alexis De Tocqueville

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1675 - Edward Teach

1804 - Franklin Pierce

1860 - Hjalmar Branting

1862 - Gilbert Parker

1887 - Boris Karloff

1888 - Harpo Marx

1896 - Klement Gottwald

1916 - Michael Gough

1919 - P. F. Strawson

1920 - Paul Celan

Birthdays on November 23rd
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Birthday Design Gardening Good Money Parenting Politics Thanksgiving