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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes


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Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

Showing 31-40 of 88 Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

~Jerry Seinfeld

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People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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There's different kinds of laughs. It's like a baseball lineup: this guy's your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we're gonna win.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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My theory is 98 percent of all human endeavor is killing time.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

~Jerry Seinfeld

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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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I can walk through a hotel lobby and watch people at the desk and see what they're doing. People don't look at me. They don't even know I'm there.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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A lot of advertising has gotten worse. I think it's kind of lost its nerve, to be honest with you. I feel like the advertising of the '60s, they were nervier. You know why? Because there was less at stake.

~Jerry Seinfeld

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: April 29th, 1954

Links

Find Jerry Seinfeld on Amazon

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