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Henny Youngman Quotes


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Quotes by Henny Youngman

Showing 21-30 of 49 Quotes by Henny Youngman

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

~Henny Youngman

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

~Henny Youngman

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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

~Henny Youngman

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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

~Henny Youngman

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My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

~Henny Youngman

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If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

~Henny Youngman

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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

~Henny Youngman

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She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

~Henny Youngman

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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

~Henny Youngman

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Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

~Henny Youngman

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: March 16th, 1906

Died: February 24th, 1998

Links

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