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Henny Youngman Quotes


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Quotes by Henny Youngman

Showing 1-10 of 49 Quotes by Henny Youngman

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

~Henny Youngman

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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

~Henny Youngman

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

~Henny Youngman

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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

~Henny Youngman

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When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

~Henny Youngman

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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

~Henny Youngman

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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

~Henny Youngman

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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

~Henny Youngman

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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

~Henny Youngman

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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

~Henny Youngman

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: March 16th, 1906

Died: February 24th, 1998

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Find Henny Youngman on Amazon

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