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Elayne Boosler Quotes


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Quotes by Elayne Boosler

Showing 11-20 of 66 Quotes by Elayne Boosler

I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Animals Been Cannot Come Eligible Find How How Many Times Many Names Only Our Personally Pound Put Release Soon Tell Times Us Workers You

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I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Ability Able Actual Comics Comment Decade Elsewhere Entertaining Found Funny Had Intelligent Last Last Decade Make News Newspapers Off Only Pages Place Pull Pure Raw Social Thought Through Truth Truths Were

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My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Ancestors Ask Because Bible Directions Even Forty Forty Years Lost Men Stop Times Wandered Wilderness Would Years

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Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Creating Designers Every Just Keep Out Put Same Sweater Year

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Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: About Argue Both Both Sides Feel Help How Know Reading Really Sides Sometimes Topic You

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When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Across Black Bring Champagne End Eve Favorite Flying Glasses Got He Hotel Lab Las Vegas Memory New Onstage Out Played Ran Responsible Sending Show Tables Then Vegas Year

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I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Always Door Every Figure Go How Lock Locks Long Matter Other Out Picking Row Six Somebody Stands Three

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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Against Born Good Good Thing Jesus Mothers Rule Surrogate Thing Vatican

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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Been Divorced Married Me Never People Something Tell Think Wrong

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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

~Elayne Boosler

Topics: Bald Down Little Man Never See Spot Street Walking Who Woman You

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: August 18th, 1952

Links

Find Elayne Boosler on Amazon

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