KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Dennis Miller Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Dennis Miller

Showing 1-10 of 46 Quotes by Dennis Miller

Never have lives less lived been more chronicled.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Been Less Lived Lives More Never

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Bad Cart Eating Got Grocery Habits Use You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: About Biggest Complaint Culture Enough Enough Time Eternity Everyone Having Ironic More Nothing Our Than Thought Time Us

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Actually Get Here Hollywood License Marriage Printed You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Begins Education Know Only Out Problem Realize System You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Clueless Help Helpless Want

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Cheese Lying Washington Washington D.c. Wisconsin Dc

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Aw Business Campaign Care Dime Fight Immediately Like Moment Our People Right Shock Start Taken Taking Then Touching Turn Until War Way

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Balloon Cost Days Does Electricity Expensive Hair Make Much Something Why I Can

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

~Dennis Miller

Topics: Cash Cold Discount Ever Hard Idea Just Marriage Might Money More Never Paper Piece Someone Sure Tell Than Well You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: November 3rd, 1953

Links

Find Dennis Miller on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Aesop Angela Davis Thomas A. Edison George Orwell Edgar Allan Poe John D. Rockefeller Sonia Sotomayor Nikola Tesla

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1958 - Neil Degrasse Tyson

1600 - Thomas Goodwin

1703 - Jonathan Edwards

1713 - Denis Diderot

1824 - Henry Chadwick

1830 - Chester A. Arthur

1879 - John Erskine

1882 - Robert H. Goddard

1887 - Rene Cassin

1902 - Ray Kroc

Birthdays on October 5th
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Amazing Communication Government Hope Knowledge Science Sympathy War