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Demetri Martin Quotes


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Quotes by Demetri Martin

Showing 51-60 of 88 Quotes by Demetri Martin

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Fat Spoon Tell Then You

Keywords: None


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I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: College Either Government History Improv Major Never Performed Student Theater

Keywords: None


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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Funny Kid Me People Since Think Thought I Think

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People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Am Apart Argue Car Different Driving Find Hairy Hard Human Kind Most People Similar Situation Squirrels Tell Them Then Towards Very Which Will I Am

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I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Alone Cologne Interesting Rhymes Think I Think

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I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Clip Computer Cool Forceful Get Help Language Like Looks Money More Need Note Paper Said Should Think Up Use Were Would Writing You Your I Think

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There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I like that name, 'Futon World.' Makes me think of a magical place that gets less and less comfortable over time.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Comfortable Gets Less Like Magical Makes Me Name Neighborhood Over Place Store Think Time World

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But long story short, I didn't start doing stand-up because I wanted to have a TV show or be an actor or even wanted to write sketch comedy. I got into stand-up because I love stand-up.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Actor Because Comedy Doing Even Got Long Love Short Show Sketch Sketch Comedy Stand-Up Start Story Tv Tv Show Wanted Write I Love

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I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: High High School Lot Love School Stand Stand Up Steven Television Up Wright I Love

Keywords: None


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And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Actor All-Time As Far As Far Favorite Go Peter Peter Sellers Sellers

Keywords: None


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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 25th, 1973

Links

Find Demetri Martin on Amazon

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