KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Demetri Martin Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Demetri Martin

Showing 21-30 of 88 Quotes by Demetri Martin

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Computer Honest Laugh More Myself Quietly Type Whenever

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Candy Garbage Give Give Me Handle Hard Just Like Lot Me Need People Plus

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: College Finish Fit Get Go Good Job Know Law Law School Lawyer Me Proved School Then Thought Work Would You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Attack Game Heart Time Worst

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Audience Doing Feedback Front Improvisation Loop Shortest Think I Can

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Both Employee Example Good Good Example How Loser Month Same Same Time Somebody Time Winner

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Fat Friend Only You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Boldly Direction Dreams Figured Go Going Just Me Say See Takes Where Would

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: First Found Interesting Law Law School School Three Weeks

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Let no man's deathbed be a futon.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Deathbed Man

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 25th, 1973

Links

Find Demetri Martin on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Aeschylus Walt Disney Hubert H. Humphrey Zora Neale Hurston Satchel Paige Antoine De Saint-Exupery Jim Valvano H. G. Wells

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1938 - Kofi Annan

1947 - Robert Kiyosaki

1732 - David Rittenhouse

1859 - Edmund Husserl

1869 - Harvey Cushing

1888 - Dennis Chavez

1892 - Mary Pickford

1896 - E. Y. Harburg

1903 - Ilka Chase

1911 - Emil Cioran

Birthdays on April 8th
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Attitude Chance Great Happiness Leadership Mother's Day Politics Saint Patrick's Day