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Demetri Martin Quotes


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Quotes by Demetri Martin

Showing 21-30 of 88 Quotes by Demetri Martin

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Computer Honest Laugh More Myself Quietly Type Whenever

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A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Candy Garbage Give Give Me Handle Hard Just Like Lot Me Need People Plus

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I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: College Finish Fit Get Go Good Job Know Law Law School Lawyer Me Proved School Then Thought Work Would You

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The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Attack Game Heart Time Worst

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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Audience Doing Feedback Front Improvisation Loop Shortest Think I Can

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Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Both Employee Example Good Good Example How Loser Month Same Same Time Somebody Time Winner

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When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Fat Friend Only You

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But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Boldly Direction Dreams Figured Go Going Just Me Say See Takes Where Would

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I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: First Found Interesting Law Law School School Three Weeks

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Let no man's deathbed be a futon.

~Demetri Martin

Topics: Deathbed Man

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 25th, 1973

Links

Find Demetri Martin on Amazon

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