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Chelsea Handler Quotes


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Quotes by Chelsea Handler

Showing 81-90 of 109 Quotes by Chelsea Handler

I thought I'd become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Actress Become Eat Much Realized Then Thought Too Too Much

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My position as the best-selling author at E! is secure - unless Salman Rushdie develops a show with them.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Author Develops Position Secure Show Them Unless

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You can act, or you can't. I'm sure a lot of people who are serious about acting would disagree, but I'm not really worried about them.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: About Act Acting Disagree Lot People Really Serious Sure Them Who Worried Would You

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I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Everyone Fun Make Minorities Often Possible Try

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We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and some of these other shows are more racist. Or '16 and Pregnant.' Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious?

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Atlanta Behavior Being Being Pregnant Entertainment Getting Housewives Human Human Behavior Mindless More Other Out Pregnant Real Rewarded Seeking Serious Shows Some Teenager Want You

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Network TV is so limiting. There are so many parameters.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Limiting Many Network Parameters Tv

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My standup is observational, but it's self-observational, and it's self-deprecating, definitely.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Definitely Self-Deprecating Standup

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I once waited on a group of 10 people, and one guy collected the money from the check and tipped me $20 on $600. I told him in front of everyone, 'Jews like you give Jews like me a bad name.' That was my last waitressing job.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Bad Check Collected Everyone Front Give Group Guy Him Jews Job Last Like Me Money Name Once People Waited Waitressing You

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TMZ is so disgusting.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Disgusting

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I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

~Chelsea Handler

Topics: Actually Because Best Big Big Fan Comedian Comedians Fan Fun Funny Like Make People Really See Self-Deprecating She Something Themselves Think Those Which Who I Think

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: February 25th, 1975

Links

Find Chelsea Handler on Amazon

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