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Billy Connolly Quotes


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Quotes by Billy Connolly

Showing 1-10 of 34 Quotes by Billy Connolly

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Alone Left Man Never Tea Trust Try Who

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Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding's a mystery to me now. You can't go back, your life changes every day.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Back Become Car Changes Clothes Day Drive Every Every Day Go House Kind Know Life Life Changes Like Live Me Mystery Now Once People Successful Successful People Talk Type Wear Where Would You Your

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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Asked Autograph Back Being Cigarette Fame Packet Sign Your

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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Come First First Name He How Jesus Jew Mexican Name

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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: June Scotland Seasons Two Winter

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I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Always Army Does Go Knives Red See Switzerland Those Wanted Wee

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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Again Bicycle Invention Kit Marriage Repair Then Wonderful

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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Christianity Different Different Things God He Islam Judaism Me Same Seems Telling Them Things

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I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Algebra Go Know Learn Likely Never Should Why

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My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

~Billy Connolly

Topics: Definition Intellectual Listen Lone Ranger Someone Tell Thinking Who William Without

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Biography

Nationality: Scottish

Type: Comedian

Born: November 24th, 1942

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