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Bill Engvall Quotes


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Quotes by Bill Engvall

Showing 1-10 of 60 Quotes by Bill Engvall

I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.'

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Hate Just People Say Should Signs Stupid Stupid People Wear

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It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Be Different Different Funny Funny People Guy Me Meet People Same Say Still Thought Who You

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I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: About Bit Connotation Did Doing Just Like Man More Off People Should Signs Slapped Stupid Stupid People Thought Took Violence Wear

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I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Asked Came Car Coat Day Dry Gonna Guy Hang His Just Keys Lock Mall Myself One Day Out Question Standing Stop Stupid Up Washed Window You Your I Came

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I eat fish, chicken, vegetables and other healthier foods. I do love a great steak.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Chicken Eat Fish Foods Great Healthier Love Other Steak Vegetables

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I learned that you don't take dishes from the table to the dishwasher; you have to rinse them first. I think that's stupid because I don't go out in the back yard and hose off before taking a shower.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Back Because Before Dishes Dishwasher First Go Hose Learned Off Out Shower Stupid Table Take Taking Them Think Yard You I Think

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I think you can ban guns if you can just pull the trigger and 60 bullets fire out.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Ban Bullets Fire Guns Just Out Pull Think Trigger You I Think

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I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Afterwards Favorite Favorite Things Feel Good Good Laugh Great Laugh Laughter Love Really Things You I Love

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I don't believe there's any reason for a person like myself to own an AK-47.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Any Believe Like Myself Own Person Reason

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If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen.

~Bill Engvall

Topics: Good Good Things Guy Happen Just Nice Nice Guy People Right Things Things Happen Treat Walk You

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: July 27th, 1957

Links

Find Bill Engvall on Amazon

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