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Steven Wright Quotes


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Quotes by Steven Wright

Showing 21-30 of 181 Quotes by Steven Wright

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

~Steven Wright

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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

~Steven Wright

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

~Steven Wright

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If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

~Steven Wright

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I love eating chocolate cake and ice cream after a show. I almost justify it in my mind as, 'You were a good boy onstage and you did your show, so now you can have some cake and ice cream.'

~Steven Wright

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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

~Steven Wright

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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

~Steven Wright

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

~Steven Wright

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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.

~Steven Wright

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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

~Steven Wright

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 6th, 1955

Links

Find Steven Wright on Amazon

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