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Phyllis Diller Quotes


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Quotes by Phyllis Diller

Showing 11-20 of 43 Quotes by Phyllis Diller

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

~Phyllis Diller

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My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

~Phyllis Diller

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I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

~Phyllis Diller

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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

~Phyllis Diller

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Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

~Phyllis Diller

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My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.

~Phyllis Diller

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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

~Phyllis Diller

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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

~Phyllis Diller

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A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

~Phyllis Diller

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The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

~Phyllis Diller

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: July 17th, 1917

Died: August 20th, 2012

Links

Find Phyllis Diller on Amazon

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