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Paul Merton Quotes


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Quotes by Paul Merton

Showing 21-30 of 39 Quotes by Paul Merton

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

~Paul Merton

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In 1986, I was attacked in the street as I helped Neil Mullarkey from the Comedy Store Players to put up posters. We were in the wrong place at the wrong time - midnight - and we were English. I got kicked in the head.

~Paul Merton

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In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.

~Paul Merton

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Maybe there's a perception of me as grumpy old bugger who suffers from depression. It's a total misconception. I don't think of myself as any grumpier than the next person. I'm not even grumpy first thing in the morning.

~Paul Merton

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Generally speaking, politicians are an odd bunch. They seem to have very thick skins and genuinely don't care what people think. And charm is a very important part of the politician's armoury. I try to resist that kind of charm.

~Paul Merton

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At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during 'Meat Is Murder.'

~Paul Merton

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When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous.

~Paul Merton

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I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

~Paul Merton

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I was flying to the Maldives in 2000 when the plane went through turbulence - after that, I didn't fly for four years. Then a job came up in India, so I did a simulator flight and learnt about what goes on in the cockpit. I'm fine now.

~Paul Merton

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If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.

~Paul Merton

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Biography

Nationality: British

Type: Comedian

Born: July 9th, 1957

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