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Mitch Hedberg Quotes


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Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

Showing 11-20 of 59 Quotes by Mitch Hedberg

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

~Mitch Hedberg

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The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

~Mitch Hedberg

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My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

~Mitch Hedberg

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Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

~Mitch Hedberg

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Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

~Mitch Hedberg

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I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

~Mitch Hedberg

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Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

~Mitch Hedberg

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It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.

~Mitch Hedberg

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I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.

~Mitch Hedberg

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I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.

~Mitch Hedberg

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: February 24th, 1968

Died: March 30th, 2005

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Find Mitch Hedberg on Amazon

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