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Lisa Lampanelli Quotes


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Quotes by Lisa Lampanelli

Showing 81-90 of 93 Quotes by Lisa Lampanelli

I'm not ready to die yet. I have, like, 40 years left that I have to make up for all of the trouble I caused in my first 50 years.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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A roast is really an honor. If they picked me to be roasted, I'd be the most flattered I'd be in my life. If I could pick some people to roast, I'd pick my heroes, Don Rickles and Howard Stern. Those are the people I'd like to give some honor to.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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The only reason I was allowed to have a career for a quarter century as an insult comic is because it's all in jest and all for fun.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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Every day, I wake up and ask, 'Am I hungry?' If I'm physically hungry, I eat something that's hopefully good for me, and then do it again in a few hours. If I get a phone call I don't like, I'll say to myself, 'Is that the reason I want to eat something?' If it is, I try not to do it. It's literally a lifestyle.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I gained weight, and that started a 32-year struggle with weight and exercise and body image problems.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I'm not saying the N word anymore.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I'm not gonna ruin my reputation with the blacks no more.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I don't like any of it. I'm sick and tired of menopause.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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'Baywatch' sucks so bad. I didn't watch it the first time around; I'm sure not going to buy a DVD. But really, you just kind of find out the categories of what's most foolish about these people. With Hasselhoff, it's obviously the huge man-tits with chest hair, probably a lot about his crappy acting, obviously the hamburger video - that's huge.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead; I don't know.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: July 19th, 1961

Links

Find Lisa Lampanelli on Amazon

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