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Lisa Lampanelli Quotes


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Quotes by Lisa Lampanelli

Showing 11-20 of 93 Quotes by Lisa Lampanelli

I don't sell myself. I've never explained my comedy to people who don't get it. Never complain. Never explain.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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What you bring to the stage is what you are in real life... people sense that.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I feel that if I retire today, I've done enough. I've achieved everything in comedy... I feel I don't need anything else. It's already built.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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My thing has always been, I've never been very open and vulnerable with people, so the minute I got this dog, everything changed. It just opened me up and made me more loving... It's all because of him... He's made me a better person... I can tell people what I feel now. I can cry in front of people sometimes.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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Mr. Trump, I really can't comment, because he was my boss on 'Celebrity Apprentice,' and I just don't think we should let him be president until he produces evidence that the thing on his head is real. Because he wanted to see Obama's birth certificate, we should ask for a certificate of real hair.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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The dog lasted. The marriage didn't. So it shows which relationship was meant to be.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I wasn't ready to be a dog's mother! Trust me, I'm completely unfit and irresponsible. I'm a comic that travels 48 weeks a year, but I make it work, so you can, too.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you're that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you're tired and you don't have patience for it, you definitely snap.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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We usually let our husbands negotiate the house and the cars. But I never had a husband, so I was always buying my own houses and cars, so I knew how to negotiate.

~Lisa Lampanelli

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: July 19th, 1961

Links

Find Lisa Lampanelli on Amazon

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