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Kevin Bleyer Quotes


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Quotes by Kevin Bleyer

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Yes, my fellow citizens, despite what the original Constitution of the United States says about the qualifications for statehood and the guarantee of representation in Congress, by every measure that truly matters in America (bigness, crowdedness, awesomeness, Texasness), Nebraska doesn't deserve its star on the American flag.

~Kevin Bleyer

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No one likes the Electoral College, expect perhaps those who were elected because of it. No one likes gerrymandering, except those doing the gerrymandering. No one likes the filibuster, except those doing the filibustering.

~Kevin Bleyer

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The Constitution's Preamble, its renowned introductory passage, was written by a man with a peg-leg. Which, if you think about it, gives our Constitution hardly a leg to stand on.

~Kevin Bleyer

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Never mind what makes Canada's constitution so special. Probably something to do with hockey, or the inalienable right to poutine, or securing the blessings of Rick Moranis.

~Kevin Bleyer

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Diplomats willing to sit for an interview usually prefer the terra firma of CNN over the whoopee cushion of Comedy Central.

~Kevin Bleyer

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To be sure, the hard-to-come-by interview - the 'get' - isn't an uncommon phenomenon here at 'The Daily Show.' We've had high-profile dignitaries, low-profile indignitaries, stars you've heard of, authors you should have read.

~Kevin Bleyer

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Am I the only one who can't seem to reconcile the grand canyon of cognitive dissonance I feel when people with much more important jobs than I have manage to score much lengthier times off?

~Kevin Bleyer

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I suppose it's true that most great television, literature, and other forms of high art (and basic cable) benefit from a little hindsight. 'M.A.S.H.' comes to mind. So does 'The Iliad.'

~Kevin Bleyer

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Sports exact too harsh a toll on our beautiful women. Like engendered species, they should be protected, and instead, we exploit them and demand they fly too close to the sun for our amusement. We send them into the arena for an exhausting three-setter, an 18-hole playoff, a 200th lap. The burnout factor is insurmountable.

~Kevin Bleyer

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Republicans, say Democrats, are too simplistic about what ails America, and their solutions are straight out of 'J.A.G.'

~Kevin Bleyer

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Writer

Born: Unknown

Links

Find Kevin Bleyer on Amazon

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