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Joan Rivers Quotes


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Quotes by Joan Rivers

Showing 41-50 of 132 Quotes by Joan Rivers

I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.

~Joan Rivers

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I'm always shocked when I get an invitation. People are always shocked when they see me at a party.

~Joan Rivers

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I get butterflies before I go out to say hello at a party.

~Joan Rivers

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With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what death is - without waking up to someone clapping and going, 'Joan, wake up, it's all over and you're looking pretty'.

~Joan Rivers

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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

~Joan Rivers

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I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

~Joan Rivers

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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

~Joan Rivers

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I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

~Joan Rivers

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I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

~Joan Rivers

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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

~Joan Rivers

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: June 8th, 1933

Died: September 4th, 2014

Links

Find Joan Rivers on Amazon

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