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Joan Rivers Quotes


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Quotes by Joan Rivers

Showing 1-10 of 132 Quotes by Joan Rivers

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

~Joan Rivers

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Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything; otherwise, we're going down the tube.

~Joan Rivers

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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

~Joan Rivers

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It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.

~Joan Rivers

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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

~Joan Rivers

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I live very well, but I support a lot of relatives.

~Joan Rivers

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As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything.

~Joan Rivers

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I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

~Joan Rivers

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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

~Joan Rivers

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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.

~Joan Rivers

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: June 8th, 1933

Died: September 4th, 2014

Links

Find Joan Rivers on Amazon

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