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Fred Allen Quotes


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Quotes by Fred Allen

Showing 41-50 of 50 Quotes by Fred Allen

The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Advertising Advertising Agency Agency Been Bit Conference Desk Executive Exposed Forms Fungus Vice-President

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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

~Fred Allen

Topics: About Anything Humor Know

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California is a great place to live if you're an orange.

~Fred Allen

Topics: California Great Great Place Live Orange Place You

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During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Big Days Enjoying Had Johnson Men Samuel Small Small Talk Talk Today

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If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Back Could Fee Get Human Human Race If I Could Membership Race Resign

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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Any Children Except Father Hand His Never Raised Self-Defense

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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Alabama He Planter Southern Uncle Undertaker

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Television is the triumph of machine over people.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Machine Over People Television Triumph

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An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.

~Fred Allen

Topics: About Actor Boy Expectancy Fleeting Gas His Life Life Expectancy Lighted Look Match Popularity Small Success Tank Who

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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

~Fred Allen

Topics: Each Hollywood Iowa Mistake Other People Place Stars Where

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: May 31st, 1894

Died: March 17th, 1956

Links

Find Fred Allen on Amazon

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