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Deborah Tannen Quotes


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Quotes by Deborah Tannen

Showing 11-20 of 104 Quotes by Deborah Tannen

When did the word 'compromise' get compromised? When did the negative connotations of 'He was caught in a compromising position' or 'She compromised her ethics' replace the positive connotations of 'They reached a compromise'?

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Caught Compromise Compromised Compromising Did Ethics Get He Her Negative Position Positive Reached Replace She Word

Keywords: None


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In a world of status, independence is key, because a primary means of establishing status is to tell others what to do, and taking orders is a marker of low status. Though all humans need both intimacy and independence, women tend to focus on the first and men on the second. It is as if their lifeblood ran in different directions.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Because Both Different Different Directions Directions Establishing First Focus Humans Independence Intimacy Key Low Means Men Need Orders Others Primary Ran Second Status Taking Tell Tend Though Women World

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Birth order is fascinating, and it is forever.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Birth Fascinating Forever Order

Keywords: None


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Mothers and daughters find in each other the source of great comfort but also of great pain. We talk to each other in better and worse ways than we talk to anyone else.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Also Anyone Anyone Else Better Comfort Daughters Each Else Find Great Mothers Other Pain Source Talk Than Ways Worse

Keywords: None


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The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation - or a relationship.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Believing Biggest Biggest Mistake Conversation Listen Mistake Relationship Right Right Way Talk Way

Keywords: None


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Where the daughter sees power, the mother feels powerless. Daughters and mothers, I found, both overestimate the other's power - and underestimate their own.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Both Daughter Daughters Feels Found Mother Mothers Other Overestimate Own Power Powerless Sees Underestimate Where

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A double bind is far worse than a straightforward damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't dilemma. It requires you to obey two mutually exclusive commands: Anything you do to fulfill one violates the other.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Anything Bind Commands Dilemma Double Exclusive Far Fulfill Mutually Mutually Exclusive Obey Other Requires Straightforward Than Two Violates Worse You

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While the requirements of a good leader and a good man are similar, the requirements of a good leader and a good woman are mutually exclusive. A good leader must be tough, but a good woman must not be. A good woman must be self-deprecating, but a good leader must not be.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Exclusive Good Good Leader Good Man Leader Man Must Mutually Mutually Exclusive Requirements Self-Deprecating Similar Tough While Woman A Good Man

Keywords: None


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Women as mothers grapple with corresponding contradictions. The adoration they feel for their grown daughters, mixed with the sense of responsibility for their well-being, can be overwhelming, matched only by the hurt they feel when their attempts to help or just stay connected are rebuffed or even excoriated as criticism or devilish interference.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: Adoration Attempts Connected Contradictions Corresponding Criticism Daughters Devilish Even Feel Grown Help Hurt Interference Just Matched Mixed Mothers Only Overwhelming Responsibility Sense Stay Well-Being Women

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My writing is about connecting ways of talking to human relationships. My purpose is to show that linguistics has something to offer in understanding and improving relationships.

~Deborah Tannen

Topics: About Connecting Human Human Relationships Improving Linguistics Offer Purpose Relationships Show Something Talking Understanding Ways Writing

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Sociologist

Born: June 7th, 1945

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