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Bill Burr Quotes


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Quotes by Bill Burr

Showing 1-10 of 55 Quotes by Bill Burr

Rich people never go to war. You ask a college kid to go to war, and he's like, 'Umm, I'm taking this sociology class, and I think war is, like, really stupid, and my roommate's, like, half Afghani, so it's going to cause some static.'

~Bill Burr

Topics: Ask Cause Class College Go Going Half He Kid Like Never People Really Rich Rich People Sociology Some Static Stupid Taking Think War You I Think

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I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Am Get Going Lie Luckily Most Out Psycho Stage I Am

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Did you ever spell a word so bad that your spell check has absolutely no clue what you're trying to spell? What do you end up getting, you end up getting, like, a question mark. You got a million dollars of technology just looking back at you like, 'You got me, buddy. Which is pretty amazing because I have all the words.'

~Bill Burr

Topics: Absolutely Amazing Back Bad Because Buddy Check Clue Did Dollars End Ever Getting Got Just Just Looking Like Looking Looking Back Mark Me Million Million Dollars No Clue Pretty Question Question Mark Spell Technology Trying Up Which Word Words You Your

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If you do live shows long enough as a comedian, you can still hear that rhythm of laughing. It's ingrained in you, and it's not something you can really teach somebody. It comes from doing hours and hours and hours and years and decades on stage, performing in front of live crowds.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Comedian Crowds Decades Doing Enough Front Hear Hours Hours And Hours Ingrained Laughing Live Live Shows Long Performing Really Rhythm Shows Somebody Something Stage Still Teach Years You

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Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Being Comedian Incredible Scary Sometimes Thing

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I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Empathetic Gemini Loving Me Meanest Most Off People Person Really Sadistic Sort Thing Weird Where You I Can

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The Giants beating the undefeated Patriots, that's all a joke. The star of a reality show is going to run the country. The guy who decided if Bret Michaels or Cyndi Lauper would make a better CEO for a company that doesn't exist is going to be running stuff.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Beating Better Ceo Company Country Decided Exist Giants Going Guy Joke Make Patriots Reality Reality Show Run Running Show Star Stuff Undefeated Who Would

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What happens is when you have a kid, you are a unique human being, so you are going to have a unique experience. No one can really tell you what youre going to feel.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Being Experience Feel Going Happens Human Human Being Kid Really Tell Unique You

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Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Desert Drive Everyone Experience Fun Just Live Out Place Should

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My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

~Bill Burr

Topics: Basically Favorite Funny Happening Hilarious Humor Kind Observe You

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: June 10th, 1968

Links

Find Bill Burr on Amazon

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