KeenBrain
KeenBrain
KeenBrain

Alan King Quotes


Share this page on

Quotes by Alan King

Showing 11-20 of 55 Quotes by Alan King

I won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.

~Alan King

Topics: Armor Eat Place Suits

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention to me, and I don't pay attention to her. She's a vegetarian, and it drives me crazy.

~Alan King

Topics: About Always Attention Attractive Crazy Diet Drives Her Me Pay Pay Attention She Vegetarian Very Wife Woman Worried

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

~Alan King

Topics: Eat Every Holiday Jewish Summary Tried Us Won

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.

~Alan King

Topics: Alive Current Funny Keep You Yourself

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

~Alan King

Topics: About Books Buy Got Love Marriage Read Separate Two Want You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

~Alan King

Topics: Fifteen Last Live Longer Spend Toilet Years You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

~Alan King

Topics: Banker Banks Chain Come Down Friend Friendly How Image New Now Pens You Your

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Modesty is not one of my virtues.

~Alan King

Topics: Modesty Virtues

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.

~Alan King

Topics: Ability Behaves Comedy Create Distorted Fun House Make Mirror Nothing Reflection Reflections Set Society Standards Styles Then Watch

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


You only live once, except for Shirley MacLaine.

~Alan King

Topics: Except Live Once Only Shirley You

Keywords: None


Suggest an Edit


Cite the source


Save to Favorites


Collect


Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: December 26th, 1927

Died: May 9th, 2004

Links

Find Alan King on Amazon

Related Authors

George Carlin
Rodney Dangerfield
W. C. Fields
Mitch Hedberg
Groucho Marx
P. J. O'Rourke
Robin Williams
Steven Wright

Popular Authors

Cardi B Coco Chanel Christopher Columbus Henry Ford Abraham Maslow George S. Patton Travis Scott Brendon Urie

Change your beliefs...change your life.

Get a related quote or insight every day.

(it's 100% free)

Follow Us On

Today's Birthdays

1882 - Franklin D. Roosevelt

1775 - Walter Savage Landor

1781 - Adelbert Von Chamisso

1846 - F. H. Bradley

1866 - Gelett Burgess

1909 - Saul Alinsky

1912 - Francis Schaeffer

1912 - Barbara Tuchman

1912 - Barbara W. Tuchman

1919 - Fred Korematsu

Birthdays on January 30th
All Birthdays

Popular Topics

Attitude Beauty Best Cool Legal New Year's Teen Valentine's Day