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Adam Devine Quotes


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Quotes by Adam Devine

Showing 31-40 of 41 Quotes by Adam Devine

I'm not a good rapper. For whatever reason, my brain does not work that way. I just do the beginning, like, 'Yeah, yeah! Ha ha! Woo! What up? Come on! Get at me!' I'm Captain Hook.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Beginning Brain Captain Come Does Get Good Hook Just Like Me Rapper Reason Up Way Whatever Woo Work Yeah

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I did telemarketing for years, starting at the age of 16, just selling steak knives to old people. Old people go through a weird amount of steak knives. I also sold straight meat over the telephone.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Age Also Amount Did Go Just Knives Meat Old Old People Over People Selling Sold Starting Steak Straight Telephone Through Weird Years

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When I was 15, I worked as a bag boy in a grocery store. I also needed to walk old ladies to their car and put their bags in the car, and they would give me two dollars. I felt like the richest man in the world.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Also Bag Bags Boy Car Dollars Felt Give Give Me Grocery Grocery Store Ladies Like Man Me Needed Old Put Richest Store Two Walk Worked World Would

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Even as a kid, I was a businessman. I figured out that if you plucked all the berries off my neighbor's tree and smashed them up, they made a Nickelodeon Gak-type consistency. I sold them to all the neighborhood kids and made stacks of quarters. Of course, the berries were poisonous, and I got in all types of trouble.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Berries Businessman Consistency Course Even Figured Got Kid Kids Made Neighbor Neighborhood Off Out Poisonous Quarters Smashed Sold Them Tree Trouble Types Up Were You

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When I was a teenager, I was an umpire for a competitive league for 8- to 9-year-olds. I was really bad at it because I didn't know all the rules, and all these kids were better athletes than me. I made a bad call, and this dad snapped on me. Then he dumped his trash from his cooler, and I had to kick him out of the stands.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Athletes Bad Because Better Call Competitive Cooler Dad Dumped Had He Him His Kick Kids Know League Made Me Out Really Rules Stands Teenager Than Then Trash Umpire Were

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I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian, even as a kid. Me and my dad would watch 'Evening at the Improv' on A&E.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Always Comedian Dad Even Evening Improv Kid Me Stand-Up Stand-Up Comedian Wanted Watch Would

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I don't really write jokes down. I tend to have a premise that I work out and test on stage.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Down Jokes Out Premise Really Stage Tend Test Work Work Out Write

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I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won't. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors. The 'art' will suffer.

~Adam Devine

Topics: About Always Art Ask Closed Closed Doors Crazy Doors Goes Joke Jokes Know Lot Me Something Subject Suffer Tell Tend Them Unless Where Will You

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I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet.

~Adam Devine

Topics: About Cement Found Getting Hit Humor Hurt Jokes Knees Still Think Truck I Think

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Be yourself. I had this three-week period where I wore this straw fedora. I thought it was what chicks wanted. And then it dawned on me that I was trying to be something that I wasn't, so I took the fedora off. So be yourself.

~Adam Devine

Topics: Be Yourself Chicks Dawned Had Me Off Period Something Straw Then Thought Took Trying Wanted Where Wore Yourself

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Comedian

Born: November 6th, 1983

Links

Find Adam Devine on Amazon

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