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Mallory Ortberg Quotes


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Quotes by Mallory Ortberg

Showing 21-30 of 39 Quotes by Mallory Ortberg

It's an unfortunate reality of life that toxins are constantly building up in our bodies.

~Mallory Ortberg

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My history teacher could make us feel like he was imparting rare gossip to us when he was talking about Maria Theresa and the Habsburgs. I just loved that sense of - the Western canon is here, and it's gossipy and tawdry, and everyone is sort of goofy.

~Mallory Ortberg

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Anything where I get to write a lot of jokes and have a lot of creative control - that's all I want.

~Mallory Ortberg

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The Toast's audience is about 30-35 percent male, which shocked me because I would say that we actively try to discourage men from reading our site. Apparently, there's not insignificant number of dudes out there who think that what we are doing is okay.

~Mallory Ortberg

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My parents are both pastors. In the '80s and '90s in the mainstream Christian world, it was not really common for a woman - especially a married woman and a mother - to be a pastor.

~Mallory Ortberg

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When I was twenty years old, I had gum grafts put in.

~Mallory Ortberg

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It's so, so awful for my entire body and my spine and my hands, and I have a perfectly good desk to write at, but I don't care. I love writing in bed.

~Mallory Ortberg

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Usually, the first thing I do when I wake up is I start working, so I often won't start the day by reading anything because I like to minimize my 'commute' as much as possible. I wake up, open my laptop and start working in bed.

~Mallory Ortberg

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After I do my first writing of the day, I will generally look at Twitter and Google News - and that's my big media secret. I look at Twitter and I look at Google because they pull all the headlines from other websites.

~Mallory Ortberg

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I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.

~Mallory Ortberg

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Writer

Born: November 28th, 1986

Links

Find Mallory Ortberg on Amazon

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