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Erma Bombeck Quotes


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Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Showing 61-70 of 77 Quotes by Erma Bombeck

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Battery Car Go Guarantees Live Looking Marriage You

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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Always Bathroom Car Groceries Kids Out Perceived Place Until Wait Where You

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People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Allow Bathing Bathing Suit Care Comfortable Feel Grow Husband Look More People Room Rules Same Shop Something Suit Than Wearing Wife You

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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Baseball Gossip Me National Our Pastime Say Some

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Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Brown Dead Fruit Hairy Me Once Over Over It Small Someone Threw Until

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Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Literary Never Seriously Start Suicide Take Themselves

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Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Admit Asking Better Children Critical Other Parents People Publicly Somewhere Who Written

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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Boyfriend Friend He Old Priest Saw She Tell Will You Your

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God created man, but I could do better.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Better Could Created God Man

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I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.

~Erma Bombeck

Topics: Alphabet Die Ever Got Items Mother Obituaries Only Order Said Straight Terrible The Only Thing Them Thing Wrote

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Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Journalist

Born: February 21st, 1927

Died: April 22nd, 1996

Links

Find Erma Bombeck on Amazon

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